The Dreaded "D" Word

Parenting is a funny thing. With your first child, you try to do everything perfectly. Reading books, endless internet searches, calling girlfriends at all hours, and even asking your mother for help, desperately hoping that you won't do any permanent damage. Then you have your second. Its not that you love them any less, its that you realize that kids are a little more durable than you thought.

As crazy as it sounds, I am actually very thankful that my girls are so close in age. I love how they play together, and that they have each other to share adventures with. Having them so close has been very beneficial when it comes to the murky waters of discipline. After Rachel, I am not spending so much time worrying if I am doing everything perfectly, I don't have time to. And while I want to be the best parent I can be, I am learning to not waste my time questioning every little thing. I am learning to use my God given wisdom, and to trust my gut.

Disciplining can be very challenging. While its probably different for everyone, for me, the hardest part is feeling like I need the approval of other parents. Ridiculous, I know. Its like I am afraid to publicly correct Abigail in fear that I am not doing it right. And then the truth will be revealed, that I am ignorant to proper parenting techniques. It sounds silly, but I know its true. The sideway glances, straining ears, and hushed lips, let me know that others are meticulously judging my interactions with Abigail.  Give me a break, is that too much to ask? Maybe the judgement is harsher because I have two babies under two. Like I must not know anything, because if I did, I would not have gotten pregnant so soon. 

This last week, I have learned that it is all about timing. The sooner I respond, the better Abigail responds. If I give her time to have an attitude, she gives me ATTITUDE. If I give her an option, she refuses. Disciplining Abigail has to be very direct and consistent. I should not be surprised, after all, she is my daughter. Its no mystery where her strong will or her don't-punish-me smile comes from. The quick response can be difficult at times, especially when I am stuck to the couch with Rachel's demands. But its consistency that Abby is responding to. She is quickly learning that MOMMY MEANS BUSINESS. And shouting "no" with forceful feet or objects is NOT the proper response. That just leads to more trouble.

I love being a momma. Its tough work, but nothing is more rewarding. These "trying twos" are really going to shape Abigail for the rest of her life. And though I dread the teen years when she will loathe me, I know that right now, she is learning to trust me.