The failures and victories on my faith journey as a wife and mother.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Timing...

Personally, I don't believe in coincidences. There is too much organized rhythm to the life that is all around us. As chaotic as life may be, I think that it is the strong undercurrent of rhythm that gives one of the greatest cases for faith. But that's a different blog...

Currently, at the moment, I am no longer working full time outside the home.  I have been using the term "unemployed" but a dear friend of mine quickly reminded (and affirmed) me, that being home all day with two babies is a full time job. I just don't get the luxury of getting a fiscal reward. Our current situation has also added the complexity of needing to relocate our family. All this sudden change, as you can imagine, has really caused Stephen and I to pause. Obviously, something in our approach is off. We have had to move 4 times now since we were married in April of 2005. Our context has changed, and our angle needs to be different. 

I can't help but wonder why I am not working full time in the midst of a moving transition. Is it just to have more physical and emotional energy to relocate? Or could it be something more? Could it be that this is more than just a shift in where and how we have been raising our family to something dramatically different? Are we not to pursue the typical avenues of finding a new home?

I'll admit, I have spent time recently entertaining the idea of being a stay at home mom. Mind you the term itself is a joke. Any mother who is able to not join the workforce becomes subject to the massive flow of errands. Even as I write, I am not at home. I am taking a break doing youth work at the church. I have spent more time out of the house this last week than I ever did working the graveyard shift. I actually love that I am able to have the mental capacity to give time and energy to the youth ministry. For so long, like the last year, it was only a once a week kind of deal. But being home during the day has given me opportunities that I have not had in a very long time. Its kind of exciting.

So what to do? Do we as a family totally downsize? Do we make adjustments that I do not have intentions of going back to work? Do we stop looking for a home that gives us the "most bang for our buck"? Do we sacrifice convenience for a price tag? It would be so much easier if we didn't have kids in tow... but than the sacrifices and rewards would be very different.


I love timing. It lets me know that there is meaning and purpose to all that is around us. That we aren't just going at life for the weekend or a summer vacation. All of this adds up to something, something wonderful and beautiful. And well worth the wait.

2 comments:

  1. Oh the joys of parenthood. You can always move back to Cali and join us in our struggle. At least, we'll all be together.

    I probably can't speak for Marissa, but, from my observation, she has been a lot happier since she ditched the full-time fiscal life. She gets to spend more time with the boy and she seems a lot more relaxed.

    Of course, there isn't a one-size-fits-all family lifestyle, but our current situation works for us.

    On the amazingly up side, because we don't have as much money as we used to, we definitely value a dollar more. And we're finding that we're happier and thankful for the things we have. We're not wasting away our money on random space-thieves.

    Wow...I just sounded like my mom!!!

    Anyway...great write up.

    Keep on pushing forward sister.

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  2. Girl, you are and I are walking the same path. But you are so right, even in the midst of change and sacrifice - is a richer and more rewarding life.

    Hang in there...and your friend is right. Staying at home all day with the kids is a full-time job. With two kids, it's an 80 hour a week job. Remember that :)

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