Romance Me...

Romance... I never thought that I would find that word hilarious, but I do. Anyone with young children and a couple of years of marriage under their belt would agree. When is there ever time for romance with little ones screaming "MEEE" at the top of their lungs?

Romance has always been a topic that Stephen and I don't really see eye to eye on. We have very difference definitions as to what can qualify a person as being romantic. Our conversation will follow something along these lines:

Liz- "Stephen, your not very romantic."

Stephen- "I am too romantic."

Liz- "Name something that you have done that's romantic."

Stephen- "MY PROPOSAL."

Liz- "Something more recent."

Stephen- "I don't know, I can't think of anything right now."

Liz- "Exactly. If you can't think of anything, its been too long."

Stephen- "I'm sure I've done something recently."

Liz- "Yeah, but was it intentional?"

Seriously, we have this same conversation, like once a month. It never really goes anywhere. Its basically me expressing my desire for more, and Stephen expressing that he currently doesn't have the capacity to. 

The truth is, we are not unique in feeling at odds with what we expect out of our relationships. The fact that we talk about it, is a HUGE step that most couples won't even take. But its the next step of actually doing SOMETHING that's the trick. There are soooo many good excuses. And we use them everyday to get out of one thing or another. Some are completely valid. Like a sick kid (Abby is currently not feeling well, and there is very little I can do to help her or anyone else for that matter.) or the weather (Ah, another favorite of mine!). But at some point you have to get beyond the excuses.

Stephen and I are both abstaining from watching television shows, each for different reasons. And to my surprise, we are talking more! It's a big shock, I know. We still will watch an occasional movie together, but the conversations that actually are causing me to wonder into deep thought are becoming a regular occurrence. Mind you, it also greatly helps that we are now getting to see each other more than 3.5 hours a day (and 2.5 of those I was asleep). This unemployment thing is turning out to be great for my marriage. Who would have thought?

Last night, we had one of those spontaneous conversations. It was amazing we talked for a couple of hours. About life, love, ministry, humility, our future... It was sooo good. Like better and more rich than the flour-less chocolate torte at P.F. Changs. It was true romance. We sat at the kitchen table with our tea filled mugs being open and vulnerable about the areas in our lives that we try so hard to seem competent at. I left the dinning room feeling giddy and inspired.

Its been a long time since Stephen and I have talked like that. Not because we don't want to, but because we haven't been able to. You can't force conversation to be saturated with intimacy. We have had plenty of good talks since we have been married, but the quality of last night reminded me of the early days of our courtship. The long walks through Old Town Pasadena, the endless drives to Camp Cedar Crest, and the hours upon hours at the local Starbucks. Yeah, parenthood doesn't grace you with those opportunities. But last night, it was magical.

Corny, I know. But as a result of last night, I found myself inspired in the other areas of my life. Its like I received permission to be creative, and to be a little bit more of me. Strange, but spending some quality time with Stephen actually reminded me that there is more to me than diapers and dirty dishes. I am also tempted to throw out the cable antenna, but I don't think Stephen will go for it with baseball season quickly approaching (Go Yankees!).  

So to my dear friends, turn off the TV, and allow yourself to drift into meaningful conversation. It could be the boost of romance that you need.